I'm trying to be real, really I am....

Every time I try to be a growned-up, Real Graphic Designer I seem to end in the same morass.

Perhaps it is fate telling me it's better to be poor and do some art? I am not cut out for the Real World. It never seems to mesh with me.

It's usually this time of year that I take on extra graphic design work, other than my three-day a week job. It doesn't come in on time, so I accept more design work from another source. I never want to do it, but think I need the money, and I somehow feel obliged (by my inner adult?). Waiting. Something I abhorr. The design jobs never come in on time so I feel chained to the computer; I feel like I am working, yet am doing nothing to earn money.

Then everything comes in at once and all things social begin to happen (with the drinking and staying up later than normal), and family commitments occur (with the stressed-out feeling that only your family can give you and they don't even have to try)....

Also, it is this time of year when sitting at the computer means your hands and feet are freezing. It's inevitable that the stress and cold combined lead to some sort of illness.

By the end I blame it all on the work and say 'never again', but by May next year I will have forgotten and do it all again. Just shoot me now.