20 June 2008

Time enough for self/art

I have done awful things to preserve my freedom/time to myself/art time. Not visiting my mother enough when she was dying of cancer; not moving back to the parental home then, because my father would have made it impossible for me to leave. Even at twenty I knew instinctively what was most likely to happen and how to best avoid it. So, not for love….


What about money? Will I give up the time I have to myself now, that is sometimes used to make or learn art, or write or just think about things other than ‘work’ - time that doesn’t involve sharing with another human being. Time where I can do mostly, (work has been eating at this time a lot in the last few years), what I want. The bit of my life where I am ‘me’? Will I give that up for money, to be like and possibly more accepted by other human beings? To spend more of my life pretending?


My life is probably half over. I too may die of cancer before my time, and even if I never create that masterpiece or write that prize-winner, then I think I have to at least be able to say, in the words of the dead but immortal Frank, I did it my way.

06 April 2008

today's list

Favourite things of the week:

- rediscovering textiles - doing and thinking
- going out with friends
- my sister ringing up to share websurfing and ebaying
- developing an arrangement with my hate-work attitude/remembering the real world
- remembering that no matter how strange I am (or other people are), life is worth it
- had some great dreams this week - vivid. Full of alien landings and evil world governments, but great.


Least favourite things of the week:

- rediscovering you can buy textile things on ebay at a bad financial time
- the feeling after going out with friends that I did everything wrong and totally embarrassed myself
- drinking too much in one session
- no exercise and a bad attitude to health
- didn't go get the loom at the local shop and purchased a completely different type on ebay that I'm not sure I will use much
- the rain that just wets the surface of the ground, but makes it cool and unpleasant to go out
- going to the cupboard to get dressed to go out and realising that the clothes situation is quite desperate since I haven't gone hard-copy-shopping for a long, long time.
- not happy with either of the bags I purchased on ebay, absolute bargains that they were. I like my old bag.

20 March 2008

Not sure what to think - scary or stupid?

I was just walking home from getting my new glasses. It's raining lightly and I have my umbrella up (yes, I even do that when its raining). Some guy in a slightly sporty, red ford or holden thing of a car stops on the road I am crossing and says,

"You alright or do you want a lift". For all the world like he knows me.

I frown and say no. My look says it all. He replies something like - just trying to be nice/helpful - and drives off.

I shake my head and wonder if I should contact the police or was he just some idiot.

Is he one of my neighbours? Did he think I was an old lady who needed a lift home? Did he think I was young enough to be interested in - legally or illegally? Did he think I was stupid? Did he have a brain? I mean, it's nice to be nice, but surely you know that anyone you offer a lift to is going to be suspicious and a little bit of rain doesn't actually hurt a human being.... Logically the nice things just doesn't gel. Logic says only predators do these things.... Desperate to meet women? Going to continue to be if so, whatever his reasons - he's a crazy.

I keep thinking I must have made a mistake and known him somehow.

I looked at police websites but there isn't anywhere to report suspicious behavior by email. Hopefully he's not some nasty rapist type. Just in case:

He was wearing some sort of hideous yellow t-shirt - possibly yellow and black. Like some sort of work shirt. He was a bit jowly - like he's carrying a bit of weight, but he didn't look 'fat'. Clean shaven and fairly fresh-faced. Age - hmm - 30s? Brown hair. Ordinary bloke - mechanic type. Car had spoilers, but I didn't notice the wheels (I'm a disappointment to my family).

06 March 2008

Nano-babblishliciousness

Zombiedar – a word, of recent acquaintance, from New Scientist in a lexicography article; a nonce-word. I had no idea there was a term for them. Thing is, I can see myself using this one at some time, (and I also imagine it as a zombie-finding-zombie website – apologies to Gaydar).

Celebuwhatever – I probably won’t use. Not a fan of the ever-disrespectful ‘whatever’, but I understand the frustration that might cause it to be coined. Frustration that should rightly be vented against media magnates. Now there’s a term I wish we didn’t have.

article I read was about these two sites:

Urban Dictionary

Wordlustitude by Mark Peters

02 March 2008

scraps - not for Eric

I went to wrap some scraps in old newspaper this morning. I paused. I went to do it again. I paused. Ok, I can't wrap scraps in Eric Bana. I just can't.

06 December 2007

computer work zombie

Very sick of work. If holidays don't come soon.... just need to not be in front of the computer every day - it sucks the life out of me. There will be no point seeing people because I don't have anything to talk about, because all I do is sit here. Yes, yes, grateful to have a job that doesn't involve large machinery and meat scraps and all that... but I feel so much better about existence(ie not suicidal) when my job keeps to three days and I get to do something that I want to do in my week. And I can't even wish for the end of the year to hurry up because I just can't cope with the thought that I'll get there and not have everything done and out the way. I can just see myself working on this holiday.

Speaking of which - better get to it - I've a delayed start today because of a headache ( all that virtual hitting my head against the wall).

08 November 2007

On the Workplace Relations Act previously know as WorkChoices

What a joke to replace unfair dismissal laws and the no disadvantage test with a ‘fairness test’ – how 1984! Don’t they know that prevention is better than cure?

Australian Workplace Agreements (AWAs) and the power disparity between most workers and employers....

Now, you might think it would be in an employer's interests to make his employee's happy, just as it's in a general's interests to keep his soldiers alive, but sometimes the interests of the company are considered more important than a single worker’s pay or a single soldier’s life, aren’t they? People who have interests that are divergent to yours can’t be responsible for your interests. You don’t have to be Spock to figure that out.

If you don’t have a union then you are on your own in a very unequal fight – he who controls the pay-packet controls the strings. How many people: can’t be replaced; are in high demand; and can ask whatever in the way of remuneration? If you can’t say yes to these things then you have no bargaining power. (And let’s face it, even if you do have these things they may not be the coin of the day – you may simply be replaced by someone younger and cuter.)

Unions don’t have a lot of power. A union gives you access to people who know the law and where you stand. It gives you people that you’ve paid to look after your interests as you travel along the employment road. Hopefully they will sort things before the issue becomes one for a court. In extreme circumstances it gives the power of the strike, which is really the only power employees will ever have, so don’t disrespect it or think of it as something horrible that evil people do.

The government has gone to a lot of effort to sully the image of unions (and ok sometimes they don’t help themselves – who hasn’t met that disreputable union rep who spends all his time in the TAB and do they all smoke?). Like Unions, the government is supposed to be working for us, but often it seems they are working for business interests or for the ‘sake of the economy’ – which may be true, but it’s not in our personal interests as workers. Like the employer, the government can’t be trusted with our interests when theirs are divergent.

Having a drop in our expectations might suit a government that wants more people to take up the less-pleasant jobs. The other option is getting employers to change their expectations. Employers are the people who give campaign money – who do you think will have to change their expectations?

Ok – another example. Think about the way people do their tax. No one pays more than they have to. Without checks and balances in the system people look for the thing that best suits them. If they can get away with something they will. Same for employers. Same for employees too, but the difference is the power inequity and the thing at issue. For employers it’s money, for employees it’s livelihood.