11 December 2012

bored with being boxed in by assumptions

Unthinkingly, you always answer those questions rather than avoiding them cleverly. You know, the ones that box you in. The questions about where you work, about what you do.

When you do answer, you feel the conversation enclosing like a boa constrictor. The more you say about ‘work’ the less likely some new and interesting topic will be introduced.

The information is used, innocently, to assume things about you. Where you work and what you do for a living – these indicate things about you. Not necessarily correct things, or things you would want people to construe.

I used to say ‘artist’ – that, for the most part, would stymie people and cause them to have to think of something interesting to ask. They could assume you were poor, but generally they didn’t really know what to assume without more input.

When I ask people what they do, I’m going through the motions. Of course I’ll be excited if you are an artist (generally because I think I will have a good conversation – equally happy with scientists) or have something else in common with me so I can extend the conversation and practise being human. I will make assumptions too, but I always make every assumption with a grain of salt.

Really though, I don’t care what you do for a living – I want to know what you think.

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