piggy-in-the-middle

I am not the middle sister. I am not meant to be the piggy-in-the-middle. It seems to be one of those things that someone has to do.... My sisters never fight - it's worse than that; they avoid anything that might lead to it. One of them avoids telling the other things she may need to know - she tells me and when other sister finds out where I got the info from I get asked questions. I dodge, not well and ask myself how things got so complicated.

I know it comes down to the old enemy and part of the blame does lie with other sister, but it's time to let go of resentment or bring it out and deal with it... I think. I don't know how something like that plays out - the resentment does run deep. There isn't anything to be done about the past and resenting someone who is in your life and you love is just knocking yourself about. I try to reserve it for the old enemy.... at least he isn't formally in our lives anymore. And if he turns up mentioned in grandfathery role I forbear to say anything - just think nasty thoughts and enjoy them. I haven't had to face his ugly in many years and may that wonderful spell last....

Besides, other sister has something we younger two lack - she seems to enjoy life more. I envy her that. Perhaps she sometimes lacks empathy, but she knows how to 'let go'. She has charisma and in those brief and fleeting moments when she actually turns her attention on you you feel loved and special. Of course, with middle sister these grown-up days I feel loved and supported most of the time - that's something really special.