You know when the last straw broke the camel's back and you kept going?

It's the last straw. You are pretty sure the back is broken and short of nanotech, it can't be fixed. You keep going from habit and wonder if you should read Seth Godin's book The Dip and if that would help. (Every time I read the reviews I remember I don't need it and how little I liked the last book of his I read)

Thinking about that book though at least distracts me from this black cloud and thinking the camel's back may be broken for all time, this time. Barring Dr Who - or nanotech.

This is Australia

Yesterday, I was walking home from the shops and an old guy was walking nearby looking a bit confused. He looked at me and I had a sinking feeling - thinking he was going to ask me directions. He asked me ‘Are you a local?’ Sinking feeling continues…. I say a tentative yes.

But it was OK - he didn’t need directions at all! 

He says ‘Well, I’d be reluctant to admit that if I were you. All these Mohammeds about (? think this is what he said, but I think he meant black skinned people). 

So I said the first thing that popped into my head. I touched his arm in a confidential way and said ‘Well it makes for good food. African restaurants - yum!” and then I walked off. I think I dumfounded him. He certainly dumfounded me.

Morning coffee - everywhere

I think my reflexes are better when I’m still sleepy. I just made coffee and was wiping the bench around my cup - a little too vigorously it seems, and somehow the cup is falling... I am catching it - whether I think that’s a good idea or not - and hot coffee is going in all directions as I juggle the cup.

I am left with an empty warm cup and coffee all over the kitchen and my hands and feet. I moved so fast and the coffee went from the cup so fast that I only have a very mild burn on my hand after catching near boiling water. 

I end up looking at the cup like it’s a miracle and thinking, ‘Well, that could have gone worse’. 

So I made coffee with chai spice the second time round and it was really nice.

What’s your spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down? Changing your approach...

Very often we can’t change a circumstance that annoys us. We can’t at times make more money, or magically make the washing up disappear. We just want those things to happen, but often there’s not much to be done. 

We can change our feelings and our approach though. Thinking about things from another angle might just change everything. 

Rather than making more money - is there a way to save what you have by cutting spending?

Rather than having a miserable time doing the dishes, or other housework - is there a way to make it less of a chore? Is there anything about the way you do whatever it is, or the time you do it that could change to make the whole experience better? For me - I like a dish liquid that has a pleasant but not strong smell. I like to do the washing up during the day so I’m not as tired. Sometimes music helps if I am tired.

What would help? What’s your spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down?

People say you should take up opportunities when they knock… That’s crap.

If you are bad at doing commissions it’s worse for your business to accept them. If you don't get them done on time, end up giving the item to the person for free or have such a bad time doing them that it derails your own emotional well-being for years, then commissions aren’t for you. Me. Commissions aren’t for me.… Still have one hanging over my head and then never again.

Made my bed sigh

Stolen from http://kittehkats.tumblr.com/post/102924383476/windypoplarsroom-vintage-french-postcard-1913

Trigger warning… I made my bed this morning (it is still, just morning)… Which is an incredibly optimistic thing to do considering my mindset. At the moment I’d just like to cease to exist.

That’s not suicide by the way. I’m too depressed to suicide. It would take too much effort and forethought. Spontaneous combustion I could probably do, although it sounds painful.

It’s depressing to be so depressed that suicide is too much effort. Maybe I’m just lazy?

I have the flu. Nothing is particularly good on a normal day, but the flu just makes it all so much worse. Things that wouldn’t normally phase you, take you down whimpering.

Sisyphus and I

Ancient rocks by Neil Degney

My partner and I decluttered for about 15 minutes. He got increasingly annoyed as the minutes went on and very sarcastic. Kind of things he was saying:

"Where are you going to put that? There is nowhere." (that last sentence on constant repeat)

"I will sort this out - eventually." (very slow and very angry nasty voice)

"Do I have to do this RIGHT now?"

"I suppose you expect me to move those things too."

This is decluttering things that he had told me he was throwing out, but I said let me try and sell them first. I tried for six months with no interest, so I said OK now you can get rid of them. We talked about this for three weeks or so, with him saying, yes we must do that. Ok, yes they can go...

During the time they had sat, things were piled on top of them and several boxes of unknown things were below them.

Because there is no where to put something you shouldn’t try. You shouldn’t make an effort to find somewhere or get rid of the things in the middle of a pile that you know you want to get rid of because other things are resting on them (as the pile just keeps getting higher with breakables in the middle too).

We rearranged. I found a place to put the breakable light fitting that had been the middle top bit of the pile. We moved things over making room to move in the small room. He decided to store a large backpack in front of the full length mirror. I said that it couldn’t stay there. He said there was no where else. We worked out what was in the boxes (one half-empty) and he grudgingly decided he could put the things from the half-empty box somewhere else. But not today.

It’s an uphill battle. Add in the world’s most spoilt cat trying to be involved by being underfoot and scratching people’s legs because they should be paying attention to him and it could almost be funny. Or not.

Come the Zombie Apocalypse we'll be at the pub

US people are so into ‘prepping’… I imagine we’d all just go to the pub. As we do during floods or when the power goes out. If we can’t hammer out our survival collectively over a few beers then we aren’t true Australians.