What’s your spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down? Changing your approach...

Very often we can’t change a circumstance that annoys us. We can’t at times make more money, or magically make the washing up disappear. We just want those things to happen, but often there’s not much to be done. 

We can change our feelings and our approach though. Thinking about things from another angle might just change everything. 

Rather than making more money - is there a way to save what you have by cutting spending?

Rather than having a miserable time doing the dishes, or other housework - is there a way to make it less of a chore? Is there anything about the way you do whatever it is, or the time you do it that could change to make the whole experience better? For me - I like a dish liquid that has a pleasant but not strong smell. I like to do the washing up during the day so I’m not as tired. Sometimes music helps if I am tired.

What would help? What’s your spoonful of sugar to help the medicine go down?

People say you should take up opportunities when they knock… That’s crap.

If you are bad at doing commissions it’s worse for your business to accept them. If you don't get them done on time, end up giving the item to the person for free or have such a bad time doing them that it derails your own emotional well-being for years, then commissions aren’t for you. Me. Commissions aren’t for me.… Still have one hanging over my head and then never again.

Made my bed sigh

Stolen from http://kittehkats.tumblr.com/post/102924383476/windypoplarsroom-vintage-french-postcard-1913

Trigger warning… I made my bed this morning (it is still, just morning)… Which is an incredibly optimistic thing to do considering my mindset. At the moment I’d just like to cease to exist.

That’s not suicide by the way. I’m too depressed to suicide. It would take too much effort and forethought. Spontaneous combustion I could probably do, although it sounds painful.

It’s depressing to be so depressed that suicide is too much effort. Maybe I’m just lazy?

I have the flu. Nothing is particularly good on a normal day, but the flu just makes it all so much worse. Things that wouldn’t normally phase you, take you down whimpering.

I freely offer advice. I know it's a failing, really I do, but I find it hard to stop. I learnt it from my father who was always trying to help people. People often hated him for it. Sometimes all people want is to be listened to. I'm trying to learn to let people complain, offer meaningless sympathy and to try not to want to help them to solve the issue.

I've never thought of myself as the glass half-full kind but...

Sometimes people just need to complain. I get that. I complain more than I probably should, but I consider it part of my national identity as an Australian. Besides, people who never say what they think must explode sometime, don't you think?

Anyway - my possible failings aside, I'm here to complain about other people complaining. Things are bad, so you join a group on Facebook to get sympathy and help. Or why do you join? It seems some people just join to tell you how bad things are with them and never offer ideas or help. They take anything you say aggressively, even though you are just trying to offer help or hope or solidarity. But their situation is so bad and nothing you say will help. Their situation is worse than yours or anyone elses and no one has ever had anything remotely like it happen to them. In the group that is about that stuff.

It's not that I don't want them to explain what's happening with them. And I fully believe you should be allowed to be unhappy, express depression and all those bad emotions. I just think you also need to be aware that other people are going through things too and that a group is about helping each other, not just the all important 'you'. You can't show your unhappy, woe is me face every second or you risk doing the opposite for everyone else. Equally you can't show your totally perky side, but help groups should definitely not be a competition of who has it the worst.

I also find that when I suck it up and just try say things that might help rather than constantly complain about my own problems, that I find myself listening to my own advice and things get better.

And the glass? The glass is full - it has air and water. Does that have anything to do with who I am and how I relate to the world?