Fascinating objects

Hoarding doesn't do anything for your life - it traps you. Like some aggregate that grows until you are enslaved by your possessions. Yet it is grouping together of fascinating objects that makes a museum, a gallery, an exciting shop and a home.
I suppose there are worse things to pass on to your children, but to not give the gift of the hoard both saddens and relieves me ....

Where does your childhood go when you no longer have a room to house it?

To say goodbye to the childhood room .... Most people have to do this sooner, or later ....

Where does your childhood go when you no longer have a room to house it? What do you do with the artifacts of this other place? It has grown with each year, each piece of christmas ribbon saved and the ongoing collecting of stamps and books. There is the physical problem of incorporating the old hoard with the new, but what else ... a loss of childhood self.

If I didn't have to go back and clean it out I could pretend it was always there. I do need to learn to let go.

shallow like a bird bath

I know I'm shallow and selfish.... I read somewhere that artists are egocentric, so even though I might not be an artist anymore, I still exhibit some of the traits. Just like me to throw away the good bits and keep the bad....

like talking to pieces of a tape recording

Never get old and sick. Never get old and sick and be in a rural area. Make decisions about this sort of thing before it happens and don't leave it up to someone else to decide for you. Whatever you do, there is no such thing as an end with dignity.

isn't science exciting

Ignoring the atomic bomb and animal experiments just for a moment - isn't science thrilling. Headlines like Mars probe finds rare life on Earth make my day - yes, really.

It makes it hard for me to understand why some people seem to be determined to waste time on warlike stuff when there's so much to be discovered just under our feet.

needs to wants bandwagon jumped on

explain the game: go to google and put in your name plus the word 'needs' and do search.... I couldn't help myself and decided I needed help with 'wants' as well..... it sort of reminds me of I Ching....

needs:

1. define space war fighting doctrine and vision and ... [develop] a robust and dynamic intelligence-wide training program.
2. bass player to complete our line-up
3. to be an intensional model-a model of the mind of the speaker-with explicit goals, intentions, so that decisions can be made coherently (I certainly do!)
4. to hold back from purchasing Inde Artists Music! (er - ok)
5. adjustment, please e-mail Dan....
6. schools, colleges ...
7. to be coherent entities with goals, or there can be no notion of "intentionality".
8. them for the 4th of July or any other event. ...
9. either to design agents. An OO approach. would be more appropriate. ...
10. to be automated (think I already am!)
11. Living Essence, * of Fire, * of Earth etc. ... (I liked this one so I went to 11)


wants:

1. to know the pronunciation of the word
2. to be punk
3. the construction details, and very little on the theory (so true...)
4. to see the new, interesting, humanitarian, egalitarian stuff we can come up with. (This is actually me – something I said coming back from the distant past to haunt me)
5. to anticipate, but prefers start at night.
6. to start your own business
7. to find out; why I’m doing the ...
8. to move ...
9. to make ...
10. to be known by ...
11. to be irish
12. to play too – (And Dan was drinking his classy version of Orangerine)(another Dan reference - sounds like Dan)
13. us 2 be friends
14. to view the ... none of the commissioners called for the painting's removal,
15. now to consider specifically
16. a good RCBS Jr3. Press (something to do with guns? - must be subconscious)

officially money-sensitive or broke

Well I know what the word 'budget' means.... I mean, I think I do. You put numbers on paper or computer and move them around and they aren't supposed to come out negative 400 a month - I know this because people laugh at me when I tell them that's what my budget is..... It sux that it involves maths - why can't it be in pictures? Actually that may not help.

piggy-in-the-middle

I am not the middle sister. I am not meant to be the piggy-in-the-middle. It seems to be one of those things that someone has to do.... My sisters never fight - it's worse than that; they avoid anything that might lead to it. One of them avoids telling the other things she may need to know - she tells me and when other sister finds out where I got the info from I get asked questions. I dodge, not well and ask myself how things got so complicated.

I know it comes down to the old enemy and part of the blame does lie with other sister, but it's time to let go of resentment or bring it out and deal with it... I think. I don't know how something like that plays out - the resentment does run deep. There isn't anything to be done about the past and resenting someone who is in your life and you love is just knocking yourself about. I try to reserve it for the old enemy.... at least he isn't formally in our lives anymore. And if he turns up mentioned in grandfathery role I forbear to say anything - just think nasty thoughts and enjoy them. I haven't had to face his ugly in many years and may that wonderful spell last....

Besides, other sister has something we younger two lack - she seems to enjoy life more. I envy her that. Perhaps she sometimes lacks empathy, but she knows how to 'let go'. She has charisma and in those brief and fleeting moments when she actually turns her attention on you you feel loved and special. Of course, with middle sister these grown-up days I feel loved and supported most of the time - that's something really special.

depressed days

Many depressed days later I think I may have to give up attempts to be stoic..... Being cynical cheers me up at least. I fail to be a reed bending with the wind, sigh..... I'll never achieve Grasshopperhood.

What happy bunny are you?

I found this quizz link on someone else's blog.... just couldn't resist it. Must be that scary bunny thing....



you are the "you suck, and that's sad"
happy bunny. your truthful, but can be a bit
brutal.


which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

A place to go for ranting

Global Ideas bank.... A great idea. However I most often go to this site lately to tell people off about their stupid ideas, usually while not offering any world-shattering solutions myself, but hey, sometimes that's fun.

Latest sucky ideas:

• Reduce the Alcohol content to 1 per cent for all intoxicants,one can only
  drink so much,the problem is the accumulated toxicity of the quantity drunk.


• Pay doctors according to how healthy their patients are


• We should give tax breaks for individuals with high IQ's that have children.

Of course, you might disagree with me.... and sometimes there are good ideas - usually simple and grassroots.

Black things on the horizon

Last night’s dream. The parental home.... No parents. Sister? maybe went off in the car to get someone. Eldest neice and I alone in the house and I go downstairs. It seems like a fine day but when I round the corner of the house there is a black, black, bigger than average, willy willy - but dangerous looking; a mini tornado.

It approaches and there is that exhilarating, scaring feeling of storm and wind and big weather…. Then it is past me and I watch as it approaches ‘the shop’ – chanting in my mind – please go round the shop, please go round the shop. It did and there was relief. I turn toward the horizon again and see a string of these monstrous scary things approaching – all black like the blackest storm clouds….

…. I wake thinking this is a very good snapshot of how I am feeling…..

ebay buying wisedom so far

• Don't buy anything from anyone who puts up a hazy photo - especially if
  all their stuff is like that. They are not really bad at photography....


• A text description as well as the photo is good


• If the back of something isn't shown there could be a reason


• Ask about postage - some people will try to profit there even though it's
  not in the rules


• If the seller doesn't say they will pack well they may not pack at all


• Avoid people who don't take direct credit. Read the information - having
  to pay by money order sux cause it costs extra for the order and then postage.


• Businesses selling on Ebay are far more reliable than individuals most of
  the time, but sometimes they do bulk mailouts that take ages and they don't
  bother to tell you


• Set a 'get-out' price for every auction and don't let yourself exceed it


• Don't believe 'old' or 'vintage' - the seller could be 5 or have no idea
  about the meaning of words


• Experienced sellers will pack in recycled packing and it will cost you less

Domestic Goddess

My mother went out to work when she was 13. My father always maintains that he had to teach her to cook and that she was never as good as his mother. The only thing I ever saw Nana cook was porridge, which Dad loves….. and anyway in my opinion his taste in food is dubious. My mother cooked three different meals practically every night because I wouldn’t eat roast and Dad wouldn’t eat ‘rabbit-food’. She cooked adventurously for her age group (we had pizza before I had ever been to a takeaway); she cleaned everything all the time; she sewed expertly because she was a tailoress (I’m keeping the feminised words. Whoever heard of a Domestic God?). Whatever my father thinks, my mother was a Domestic Goddess and as such has ruined my life.

I’m a bad housekeeper. I hate cleaning bins, dusting, vacuuming…. You have to clean everything in every way all the time. I see the value in it, but I don’t like it. I put off washing up sometimes. I buy kitchen objects I like so it’s not so much of a chore to wash them, but I still think it’s a job that should be shared. I cook often and put effort in, and then end up doing the washing up too. We supposedly share the washing up. I try to not care when things pile up and it’s not my turn. I try not to care when there are specks of food on the washed up dishes. I try not to care that I have to unstack the dishes 90% of the time. I try not to care when delicate objects are scoured and roasting pans aren’t…. I know these things aren’t that important, but my mother haunts me. It’s a double-whammy - my mother’s expectations (now mine) and the expectations I have as a modern woman.

ebay song

Ebay Ebay dut-da-dut-da-da
Ebay Ebay dut-da-dut-da-da
Ebay Ebay what a lot of fun
Ebay Ebay poverty here I come....

Steve Irwin is great

I attempted to ignore Steve Irwin until I saw him in an interview on TV. He very quickly became one of my favourite people - dancing on the knife-edge of his fame; trying to be the person he is and keep up the image of his over-the-top persona; fervent in his cause, he juggles. He's interesting and he's managing to market 'saving the world'.

Layers of domesticity: Chaos in the kitchen

My memory isn’t good. No matter how bad it gets though, I never seem to forget where things go in the kitchen… My partner, on the other hand, seems to put things in a different place every time.

When I ask him about this he says he doesn’t remember the blah ever sitting on top of the other blah and that I’ve obviously only just changed it. He also implies that this is something I do to ‘get him’. (Well, we both know I have no life but really?)

Instead of screaming “Why? Why? Why?” at the top of my voice, today I say – Maybe I only think I have some way of controlling chaos and I should just embrace the entropy...

Pests with high art

Perhaps as we grow older we get too sentimental about the human race? Our striving; our endeavours; our history; our art – all blind us to the fact that we are a nasty blight on this lovely green and blue globe.

As a teenager I was very clear on the fact that there were too many humans and I thought the zero population growth, in this country, was a good idea that shouldn’t be pushed aside for economics. We’ve woken up (slightly), to human-caused climate change – perhaps we will wake up to the reality that the more of us, the more damage we do. It’s time to change the way we think about ourselves.

Speed of change is blinding….

Isn’t it rather nice that Climate Change and Greenhouse Effect are now phrases we are all familiar with? Given that I was taught about these things in the dim, dark days of way-back, at school, it’s quite remarkable that it has only taken so few decades since I first learnt about the Greenhouse Effect and the damage we are doing to our environment to finally be talking about it. What a progressive society we are…

How long have we known about this exactly?

mushrooms or doves?

Grumpy as a seal in the afterlife really

It’s mildly amusing to see ourselves as ‘Grumpy Old Women’ or ‘Grumpy Old Men’ – there’s a tv show so it’s valid to feel this way…. But we aren’t grumpy because we are old.

I was a grumpy teenager. I couldn’t understand why I had to share the world with Ronald Reagan, Lang Hangcock and Idi Amin or why people thought it was perfectly reasonable to bop creatures on the head and strip them bloodily of their skins while they are probably still alive. But I’m just grumpy I guess.

semi irrational thoughts

why can't we all just be nice to one another

On art

I like doing art. I like looking at art. I like watching artists do art. I’m interested in what artists think. I’m generally not greatly interested or impressed by writing about art – there have been exceptions, but few and far between and life is too short really.

I like making things. I like thinking while making these things and later when I look at what I’ve made, I can see what I was thinking about. Not sure if anyone else can; hopefully they get something from it (but do I really care?).

Art made about art bores me; but each to their own. I prefer art about life, politics, society, people, dreams, science… and about thoughts, feelings and emotions. I like to see things that I haven’t seen before. A sense of wonder is part of the whole experience.

When I go to a gallery I get a great deal of satisfaction from ‘busy’ art with more than one concept going on – or at least a concept that can be explored a bit. But art is not the same in a gallery as in a home. Some mild-mannered pieces of art sit on a wall for years and they grow upon you gradually until you find them indispensable to your life.

I’m always surprised by other people’s blank walls. Maybe I’m not getting it – could that be the ultimate in art minimalism and indispensable to their lives?

What is life without a list?

Must learn to be a doer not a note taker
must make my lists more comprehensive
must actually do things on lists
must not make endless lists
must get more organised but not with lists
must try and remember things
must write less lists

Childhood revisited or never left?

At the moment I'm having fun trying to fill gaps in my comic book collection. It's costing me an enormous amount of money, but it offers me a window into my childhood. Revisiting my earliest escapist haunts does make me realise I have changed; I have grown up. I don't know if it's a good thing though - I am not as easily pleased and I see politics in everything.

Otherwise great stories can be marred now by conservative threads or even the face of the old enemy - Ronald Regan. I am reminded how much I hated that man, so I guess I would have had the same feeling back then too, seeing him saved by Wonder Woman. When I was young I didn't doubt her and the flag-outfit seemed like a fashion choice....

Don't they know about Tall Poppies?

Yes we are all aware of the great things North American's have given the world... because they keep telling us. They even tell us when it wasn't them. Guess I can't say too much about that, being Australian - since we seem to like appropriating famous people from New Zealand (or anywhere really - all they have to do is touch down here).... Anyway, we already knew about the great things and we know about a lot of other things too unfortunately. Finding out wonderful things about ourselves as well.

Lost control anxiety

I can only vaguely imagine what having epilepsy must be like. It would make you want absolute control over every other aspect of life I imagine.

Escape is never enough

I love it when people say, as they always seem to be doing, "I watch too much TV".

How can you watch too much TV? Why don't they just tape it and then it would be video?

growing up

When I was young I said things like:

“No I’m not a feminist. Why would I need to be a feminist?”

I didn’t know….

Cursing

I sort of wish that the time I spent deleting spam could be taken out of the spammers life and given back to me....

Whales and cancer

Well, I was going to write something like:
I can't believe that we have to fight for whales all over again: Are there no battles that stay won?

I would have continued from there, but instead I am writing, what? Cancer sux. My mother died of cancer and my father has hodgkins.... I know people have to die, I just wish they wouldn't do it while I'm around.

when I grow up....

I always thought I'd be a writer.... but then I forgot how to write. I always was an artist and that was a given, until the artist's block.... but that will go away one day. I still make things, and I still write even if I don't really think anything I do is valid. My ambitions are macro - I would just like a tidy house. Whoever would have thought I would grow up to be such an anomalie - everyone but me, I guess.

Technology and all it has to offer

We strive to advance technology for the betterment of humankind, don't we? No, it turns out technological advance is either for the good of war or for the good of money or, as shown by conservative governments worldwide, both.

The promise of the future

When you do Modern History at school and learn about the great peace movements of the 1960's (and Gandhi of course) - you get all excited about the future. There is an immense let-down once you realise that things are never as simple as they seem.

Much of the generation that all happened to either got jaded, let it slide or were never interested in the first place. We tend to think everyone subscribed to the the 60's peace-nic way. Sure, they liked the Beatles, and they were alternative types.... but the Beatles were art students; not all of their fans were.

Some changed, some didn't, but the impetus died. It's only in places where things are insufferable that people rise up and make change. Things are too comfortable in the West and even though we can see rough patches in store because of the way society is headed, very few people are willing to speak up. Complacency and responsibility took over many of the 60's 'radicals' (what's radical about wanting everyone to have rights, live in peace, make their own choices and be nice to each other anyway?) lives - it is left to the fresh new young radicals to effect change...

.... and where are the current crop? Going to user-pays universities with optional union membership.... or not going at all because they can't afford to pay; so they work for a company that discourages union membership and doesn't keep any employee long enough to have dissent anyway. Keep 'em poor and on their toes paying for the necessities of life; they'll never learn what they are missing.

on a bad day I think

I was an artist - I felt satisfied and complete, but poor. Now I work in an office.

The fatuity begins

These days my life is made up of lists and lists of lists. I have an inner battle going on between the what-i-want-me (real me?) and the construct that shoulders responsibility. Nobody's winning.