Greenpeace are currently asking for ideas for an anti-whaling campaign. It worries me that people should come up with answers such as ‘kill the whalers’ and ‘ram the whaling ship’. That these people are young doesn’t signify – surely even a teenager would realise these are nonsense answers of no help.
I have met grown men who thought in a similar vein – the only answer being to fight fire with fire, according to them. Fire does work pretty well against fire, but their logic is flawed. To use fire against the people who support whaling you need to use economic argument. A change of sentiment to being actively against whaling in the general population is important too. Destroy, figuratively speaking, any customer base or reason to justify continuing.
Work on the fringes as well – look at the chain of people and industries supporting or supported by whaling. With logic and marketing, find ways to take them out of the mix, one by one. Where are whaling ships built – these people lose economically when you take that custom away so what can it be replaced with? Is an appeal to a ship-builders better nature likely to work when they think in terms of their business survival or are they successful enough to lobby? How do you go about making sure whalers don’t have ships?
Take that thought down to the smallest thing that they need. Find a supplier who supplies something essential to a whaling ship, but it wont hurt them financially to stop supplying it, and convince them (with logic and lobbying) to end their contract. The ship will find someone else, but do this often enough and it might be another straw to the camel’s back.
Stopping whaling, like climate change, requires massive restructures in society. It appears a daunting task to those undertaking it and the sheer magnitude of what is being asked of people who don’t want to change is going to cause confrontation, which is why, like all good changes, it has to be constant, unrelenting but gradual. Like a good diet, this needs to be taken up by people as a lifestyle choice forever and not just as a fad.
http://whales.greenpeace.org/global
30 November 2006
20 November 2006
Mondayitis
I already feel overwhelmed... been here a full 50 minutes. I don't like work much at the moment.
26 October 2006
Observations on drugs
Drugs, obviously, are good. They are so good that I like to stay away from them. I’ve never tried heroin – I believe it’s very good. People are happy to go to rack and ruin for it so it must indeed be fabulous.
Speed, I know, is too fabulous. (I am told cocaine is better than speed – so that’s a definite no-go area). If I took speed on a regular basis I could be everything that I dreamed – everything I ever wanted could be at my fingertips. If I had taken it when I also had youth on my side there is the distinct possibility that I would now be very successful either as an artist or a graphic designer.
Speed would make me a social person with the ability to think on her feet and network. I still wouldn’t be beautiful, but the chances are I would be thin and have nice skin - for a while anyway. Ten, maybe five, maybe three years down the track my skin might not be so good. My hair might not be so good; my nerves might not be so good; my brain might not be so good. It’s a risk.
I know lots of people who have used speed to study or to work or to keep up a rigorous schedule of partying and work – or just partying. I know lots of people who are social users and have maintained that without a great deal of harm for years. I know people who are so thin they look anorexic and people who have *tinnitus and can’t keep a conversation logical….
I know some people who have used heroin and led normal lives - never stolen or forgotten to pay their rent. I know people who have turned grey in colour; people who have stolen from friends; people who have no teeth left. I knew other people who are now dead.
Pot isn’t one of the fabulous drugs. It makes you paranoid, causes memory problems and an increase in bad temper as well as being bad for your lungs if you smoke it. Some people seem to like it excessively, but I can’t see why, but as a drug of choice it seems no more harmful than smoking or excessive cola.
Headache tablets are also fabulous – there is nothing better than relief from pain. Why suffer any pain at all when you can just pop a pill? Well, depending on type, you could get liver or stomach lining damage or constipation. Every drug or chemical you take - cola, coffee, herbal medications, synthetic sugars, illicit substances – they all have an effect that you should be aware of.
We live in a society that encourages us to pop pills every time we feel any pain or other symptom – is it any wonder that some people don’t understand why they shouldn’t take a bigger, better drug that makes them feel great. Really there is no difference.
Dare I say, yet again, we need to change the way we think to change society…..
*(I had written ‘tintinitus’ – but that was not right although it might be an extremely rare disease that involves an aversion to Tin Tin)
And, yes, I know that calling it ‘speed’ shows my age.
Speed, I know, is too fabulous. (I am told cocaine is better than speed – so that’s a definite no-go area). If I took speed on a regular basis I could be everything that I dreamed – everything I ever wanted could be at my fingertips. If I had taken it when I also had youth on my side there is the distinct possibility that I would now be very successful either as an artist or a graphic designer.
Speed would make me a social person with the ability to think on her feet and network. I still wouldn’t be beautiful, but the chances are I would be thin and have nice skin - for a while anyway. Ten, maybe five, maybe three years down the track my skin might not be so good. My hair might not be so good; my nerves might not be so good; my brain might not be so good. It’s a risk.
I know lots of people who have used speed to study or to work or to keep up a rigorous schedule of partying and work – or just partying. I know lots of people who are social users and have maintained that without a great deal of harm for years. I know people who are so thin they look anorexic and people who have *tinnitus and can’t keep a conversation logical….
I know some people who have used heroin and led normal lives - never stolen or forgotten to pay their rent. I know people who have turned grey in colour; people who have stolen from friends; people who have no teeth left. I knew other people who are now dead.
Pot isn’t one of the fabulous drugs. It makes you paranoid, causes memory problems and an increase in bad temper as well as being bad for your lungs if you smoke it. Some people seem to like it excessively, but I can’t see why, but as a drug of choice it seems no more harmful than smoking or excessive cola.
Headache tablets are also fabulous – there is nothing better than relief from pain. Why suffer any pain at all when you can just pop a pill? Well, depending on type, you could get liver or stomach lining damage or constipation. Every drug or chemical you take - cola, coffee, herbal medications, synthetic sugars, illicit substances – they all have an effect that you should be aware of.
We live in a society that encourages us to pop pills every time we feel any pain or other symptom – is it any wonder that some people don’t understand why they shouldn’t take a bigger, better drug that makes them feel great. Really there is no difference.
Dare I say, yet again, we need to change the way we think to change society…..
*(I had written ‘tintinitus’ – but that was not right although it might be an extremely rare disease that involves an aversion to Tin Tin)
And, yes, I know that calling it ‘speed’ shows my age.
12 October 2006
On friendship
I think friendship is about the sharing your everday experiences with someone. Mostly I have that with my sister, because most of my friends don't share their everyday with me, but the other day B asked me what I thought about peeling eggs....
You don't know how gratified I was.
You don't know how gratified I was.
28 September 2006
Is incommunicado even possible now?
It’s easy to see why I haven’t embraced mobile phones. I don’t even like landlines much sometimes. A useful tool and an evil necessity often ignored. I don’t like that I’m always available to friends, foes and family….
I would like a button on my phone that sends a message saying I am here. This is not personal, but I just want to be incommunicado for a while….
Yesterday was my birthday and I was probably quite rude to people I like. I don’t have many friends and I can’t afford to rebuff them when they are offering me happy wishes, but I don’t think I view birthdays quite the same way as everyone else.
For a start I believe a birthday is a day for you. You don’t go to work whatever the motivation. It’s a day where you should be able to choose what you want to do. I lacked both the freedom to do what I would have chosen and the ability to define my choice, but by default I decided to stay home and be alone, to meditate upon my life and try and sort some sense out of the tangle.
It was unfortunately just like being at work, without a moment’s peace – phone calls and emails and interruptions until you can’t think. At the moment I can’t stand the frantic, busy nature of my life and I’ve been screaming inside for weeks at the futility of it all. Even minor responsibilities seem to weigh like lead. Frustrated, feeling sick and at wits end I wanted the whole week off but could only take one day with the excuse that it was my birthday. People then assume you have some merrymaking project in mind. Escape was my project and it failed mostly.
Half-assed it turned out to be. I didn’t succeed in getting some quiet tranquillity, I didn’t achieve anything and I rebuffed the few people who bother to continue to know me, which makes me feel guilty and completely counteracts any relaxation I might have had. What a winner of a day. Things can only look up I suppose.
I would like a button on my phone that sends a message saying I am here. This is not personal, but I just want to be incommunicado for a while….
Yesterday was my birthday and I was probably quite rude to people I like. I don’t have many friends and I can’t afford to rebuff them when they are offering me happy wishes, but I don’t think I view birthdays quite the same way as everyone else.
For a start I believe a birthday is a day for you. You don’t go to work whatever the motivation. It’s a day where you should be able to choose what you want to do. I lacked both the freedom to do what I would have chosen and the ability to define my choice, but by default I decided to stay home and be alone, to meditate upon my life and try and sort some sense out of the tangle.
It was unfortunately just like being at work, without a moment’s peace – phone calls and emails and interruptions until you can’t think. At the moment I can’t stand the frantic, busy nature of my life and I’ve been screaming inside for weeks at the futility of it all. Even minor responsibilities seem to weigh like lead. Frustrated, feeling sick and at wits end I wanted the whole week off but could only take one day with the excuse that it was my birthday. People then assume you have some merrymaking project in mind. Escape was my project and it failed mostly.
Half-assed it turned out to be. I didn’t succeed in getting some quiet tranquillity, I didn’t achieve anything and I rebuffed the few people who bother to continue to know me, which makes me feel guilty and completely counteracts any relaxation I might have had. What a winner of a day. Things can only look up I suppose.
27 September 2006
Birthday blues, greens and other sombre tones
Yes I have achieved ‘old’. I may in fact be half-way through my natural life. It’s weird to think about. I suppose other people have survived it. Really it’s the attention that’s annoying – I just want to hide, but then, I generally do….
Dad always said to use elbow-grease (I never knew where to buy it)
It’s official*. Genius isn’t born – it’s created through a synthesis of encouragement, mentoring and hard yakka. No longer can some of us slack off in the pure knowledge that we were not born smart.
How anyone, in this modern world, would be able to find the time and quiet to practice anything enough to achieve excellence, is the big question.
*New Scientist 16 Sept 06
The Cambridge Handbook of Expertise and Expert Performance
How anyone, in this modern world, would be able to find the time and quiet to practice anything enough to achieve excellence, is the big question.
*New Scientist 16 Sept 06
The Cambridge Handbook of Expertise and Expert Performance
15 September 2006
Live small, save much
Stephen Meyer says we should get used to the ‘end of the wild’. He says that the only way we can keep the biodiversity we have requires ‘unprecedented changes in human aspirations and societal organization’ – ‘a global spiritual epiphany of unimaginable proportions’*.
He’s right, of course, but I don’t see why we shouldn’t at least try to salvage something of the world-as-we-know-it. One of the best things you can do for the environment is to breed less and train the children you do have to ‘live small’. Be like Grasshopper and aim to leave no footprint. Get working on that epiphany people and try to pull a few others along with you no matter how stupid you think they are.
*New Scientist – 9 Sept 2006. Stephen Myer is author of The End of the Wild
He’s right, of course, but I don’t see why we shouldn’t at least try to salvage something of the world-as-we-know-it. One of the best things you can do for the environment is to breed less and train the children you do have to ‘live small’. Be like Grasshopper and aim to leave no footprint. Get working on that epiphany people and try to pull a few others along with you no matter how stupid you think they are.
*New Scientist – 9 Sept 2006. Stephen Myer is author of The End of the Wild
14 September 2006
Today’s thoughts
Scraping the unused margarine on your knife back into the tub is grounds for divorce/machete murder.
What about people who sell fake prescription drugs then? How come we don’t hear about them as much as people who earn a living selling illegal substances to people who want to consume them…. Surely this is a worse crime?
So much dust and so little housekeeper….
I am going to make a stand. I am going to throw out those floppy disks.
What about people who sell fake prescription drugs then? How come we don’t hear about them as much as people who earn a living selling illegal substances to people who want to consume them…. Surely this is a worse crime?
So much dust and so little housekeeper….
I am going to make a stand. I am going to throw out those floppy disks.
07 September 2006
Meanwhile at the university....
Germaine Greer. I've spent years defending her for things she's said, (if only there was someone to defend me) , so it's very hard for me to say anything, but seriously I wish she would look before she leaped(or is that leapt?). She has come down a notch in my estimation and I won't be spending any time defending her in future, if I can break the habit.
Great conservationist dies….
It is not fair of Steve Urwin to die. I had great plans for his future. He should have had a lot more years of influencing people to do the right things rather than take the selfish choices. It’s not fair. Now he will never outlive his created persona and so many people will just remember him as goofy or loutish rather than see his greatness.
31 August 2006
many machinations
Every frog knows that a ripple in the pond means something.
Lately the ripples have been about nuclear power. These ripples mean that powerful, rich people have been waiting in the wings to sell toxic future-endangering stuff for enormous profit.
They work so hard all the time to align elements until the focus of all things socio-political flows the way of one of their many machinations.... If only the people who claim to want a healthy environment and good living conditions would work so hard to align things their way. I guess some people do, but really these powerful, rich people from powerful, above-the-law companies are tireless and unrelenting – and they have understudies! It's an economic game to win for them - they thrive on it. It really is much easier to pull the strings once you are established in the position of puppeteer.
Most sit in the audience; quite happily entertained by the show, they don’t notice the subtle strings attached to every thing the puppeteers purvey. Sleeping power resides in the audience, which is why the puppeteers want the audience to be somnolent and happy.
Audience awake and check out the ripples in your pond!
Lately the ripples have been about nuclear power. These ripples mean that powerful, rich people have been waiting in the wings to sell toxic future-endangering stuff for enormous profit.
They work so hard all the time to align elements until the focus of all things socio-political flows the way of one of their many machinations.... If only the people who claim to want a healthy environment and good living conditions would work so hard to align things their way. I guess some people do, but really these powerful, rich people from powerful, above-the-law companies are tireless and unrelenting – and they have understudies! It's an economic game to win for them - they thrive on it. It really is much easier to pull the strings once you are established in the position of puppeteer.
Most sit in the audience; quite happily entertained by the show, they don’t notice the subtle strings attached to every thing the puppeteers purvey. Sleeping power resides in the audience, which is why the puppeteers want the audience to be somnolent and happy.
Audience awake and check out the ripples in your pond!
Share the dividend of Smog
Ok, I own gaming company shares. It’s true that this makes me a bit hypocritical. I don’t approve of many aspects of the company I have shares in. It is certain that the people running gaming companies care only for profit and take little responsibility for their encouraging of behavioural addictions. Same can be said of many companies from computer games to (gods forbid!) Ebay.
Buying shares as a whole is a tricksy business. I have shares in Coles-Myer and yet they are perpetrators of the worst kind – Smoggies. They sell Orange Roughy fish in their seafood sections – something I have written to them about a few times and the fact that I own a tiny block of their shares seems to make no impact upon them whatsoever. They assure me that Orange Roughy are sustainably fished…. I assured them that the Victorian Parks and Wildlife Service website disagreed with them. Probably this is not an argument I can win. (I don’t think I have purchased anything from a Coles Seafood dept. in years because of this. Admittedly our local shop is not a Coles so it makes it easier).
Really, I am much happier owning the gambling shares by comparison.
Why do I own shares in large companies at all when I disapprove of them and the things they do to society? I also own shares in smaller companies. I believe that buying shares helps me in the long run have a more stable financial future and it helps the economy too.
True, I don’t have a lot of money to invest so I tend to buy fairly ‘sure things’, which means I haven’t supported all the environmentally friendly up-and-coming companies that I favour. However, as I build my portfolio, I will include more green companies and not just because of my political leanings but because they are the future and they will make money, if only I pick the right ones.
If every Australian invested in ‘green’ companies then these companies would advance more quickly and ‘green agendas’ would advance more quickly too. The expression ‘Put your money where your mouth is’ comes to mind…. And I need to do that too.
Meanwhile the standard mid-range Smoggies are not going to cease to exist whether I buy shares or not – let’s face it; there are not a whole lot of people like me out there and even if we all got rid of our shares in these companies or never bought them it would make no difference whatsoever. Is this a bad argument? It may be. I do not knowingly buy shares in companies that are Smoggies or those that have anything to do with uranium or armaments. I had the shares in Coles before I found them selling an endangered fish. A grocery store – who the hell knew it would turn into an ethical dilemma?
However, I did know that the nature of big companies is such that they all have something doggy about them. If you are going to try and make money in our society the chances are you are supporting something less than ethical - property investments destroy historical architecture, lifestyles and the environment. You just try to walk the line between ethics and economics; it’s a very hard line to walk.
At least with me, if not the large companies, economics doesn’t always win or I’d be out buying uranium shares this minute.
Buying shares as a whole is a tricksy business. I have shares in Coles-Myer and yet they are perpetrators of the worst kind – Smoggies. They sell Orange Roughy fish in their seafood sections – something I have written to them about a few times and the fact that I own a tiny block of their shares seems to make no impact upon them whatsoever. They assure me that Orange Roughy are sustainably fished…. I assured them that the Victorian Parks and Wildlife Service website disagreed with them. Probably this is not an argument I can win. (I don’t think I have purchased anything from a Coles Seafood dept. in years because of this. Admittedly our local shop is not a Coles so it makes it easier).
Really, I am much happier owning the gambling shares by comparison.
Why do I own shares in large companies at all when I disapprove of them and the things they do to society? I also own shares in smaller companies. I believe that buying shares helps me in the long run have a more stable financial future and it helps the economy too.
True, I don’t have a lot of money to invest so I tend to buy fairly ‘sure things’, which means I haven’t supported all the environmentally friendly up-and-coming companies that I favour. However, as I build my portfolio, I will include more green companies and not just because of my political leanings but because they are the future and they will make money, if only I pick the right ones.
If every Australian invested in ‘green’ companies then these companies would advance more quickly and ‘green agendas’ would advance more quickly too. The expression ‘Put your money where your mouth is’ comes to mind…. And I need to do that too.
Meanwhile the standard mid-range Smoggies are not going to cease to exist whether I buy shares or not – let’s face it; there are not a whole lot of people like me out there and even if we all got rid of our shares in these companies or never bought them it would make no difference whatsoever. Is this a bad argument? It may be. I do not knowingly buy shares in companies that are Smoggies or those that have anything to do with uranium or armaments. I had the shares in Coles before I found them selling an endangered fish. A grocery store – who the hell knew it would turn into an ethical dilemma?
However, I did know that the nature of big companies is such that they all have something doggy about them. If you are going to try and make money in our society the chances are you are supporting something less than ethical - property investments destroy historical architecture, lifestyles and the environment. You just try to walk the line between ethics and economics; it’s a very hard line to walk.
At least with me, if not the large companies, economics doesn’t always win or I’d be out buying uranium shares this minute.
26 August 2006
graphic design shouldn't wake you up at night
arghhh - 3.40am and I wake to think about work and regale myself with all last week's stupid mistakes until they feel like body blows. Female deities, I'm glad I'm not a doctor!
24 August 2006
not-cold
I officially declare it the first week of summer. Isn’t it fantastic? By next week we will all hate it and I will have my brolly out. I’ve already had one dose of heat-induced rosacea from pruning the orange tree last week. Things will be crispy this year, but right now it’s fresh and new and importantly ‘not-cold’.
17 August 2006
Must be time for a random rave…
… about jewellery. I think most modern jewellery sucks.
First against the wall will be those cheap stores that sell things that are a complete waste of the small amount of precious metals they use. All that glisters is not gold…. Not gold enough anyway and not good enough in any other way. How much of this crap do you really need? It doesn’t look good; it doesn’t last; it’s a waste of resources.
We need gold for electronics. Our precious computers use it. It’s an important metal for the modern world but it’s one of the most polluting things to mine so don’t waste it by buying crap that might as well not be made of it. Better to have one piece that might gain value as it ages and that you can pass on to your children – something you really can sell in an emergency. Or consider other materials – you can get the same status with a bit of clay jewellery as long as it’s made by the right person.
Better still, buy shares in an environmentally responsible company and invest in the future.
First against the wall will be those cheap stores that sell things that are a complete waste of the small amount of precious metals they use. All that glisters is not gold…. Not gold enough anyway and not good enough in any other way. How much of this crap do you really need? It doesn’t look good; it doesn’t last; it’s a waste of resources.
We need gold for electronics. Our precious computers use it. It’s an important metal for the modern world but it’s one of the most polluting things to mine so don’t waste it by buying crap that might as well not be made of it. Better to have one piece that might gain value as it ages and that you can pass on to your children – something you really can sell in an emergency. Or consider other materials – you can get the same status with a bit of clay jewellery as long as it’s made by the right person.
Better still, buy shares in an environmentally responsible company and invest in the future.
11 August 2006
Ways to discover who you are
I don't know what you wrote, but I put 'Jedi' again.
It's Census time again and I had very little hesitation. I had a small fear that someone might punish me, but I don't know, really, what for. This is the first thing I've done lately that is true to myself.
I thought about it and it turns out that I believe in the Force and have since 1977. I think this is a religion for nerds, SF buffs and outsiders but I hope it doesn't become an organised religion because I think there is an attraction to sharing something with lots of other people world-wide that doesn't have to be defined or confined. I might be a Buddhist except that people are constantly telling me about their Buddhism and giving up things doesn't seem to be my way.
If they want to create old people's homes that are 'Jedi religion' based then I truly do think that would be the place for me and many people I know. Imagine being stuck with people who don't like SF? - it looms large as one of my numerous fears of nursing homes.
I also believe a bit in mana. I don't think objects that have mana are lucky or anything, but are redolent of their own history and the people who have touched them. To look upon something like that is a form of time travel.
It's Census time again and I had very little hesitation. I had a small fear that someone might punish me, but I don't know, really, what for. This is the first thing I've done lately that is true to myself.
I thought about it and it turns out that I believe in the Force and have since 1977. I think this is a religion for nerds, SF buffs and outsiders but I hope it doesn't become an organised religion because I think there is an attraction to sharing something with lots of other people world-wide that doesn't have to be defined or confined. I might be a Buddhist except that people are constantly telling me about their Buddhism and giving up things doesn't seem to be my way.
If they want to create old people's homes that are 'Jedi religion' based then I truly do think that would be the place for me and many people I know. Imagine being stuck with people who don't like SF? - it looms large as one of my numerous fears of nursing homes.
I also believe a bit in mana. I don't think objects that have mana are lucky or anything, but are redolent of their own history and the people who have touched them. To look upon something like that is a form of time travel.
07 August 2006
procrastination is my friend
I'm sick. I'm definitely sick. Is that good enough? Stay home from work? But the work will pile up; people will think I am having a sicky; I will have to go to work sometime this week and it will only get harder. I am sick. Do I go to the doctor? Do I want to go to the doctor - that's almost harder than going to work sick. Do I want to spread germs? I should stay home. I am, after all, sick. Busy week, busy month - can't afford to be sick. Should go to the doctor!
Bad to be in your own head and still have no idea of the plan for the day.
Bad to be in your own head and still have no idea of the plan for the day.
03 August 2006
Think more creatively
I've a basic faith in the human race. I have no faith in us being peaceful - don't think I've gone crazy. I have faith that we can do anything technolgically that we set our minds to - eventually. Given that alternative energy is such a broad field, I am sure we can come up with enough approaches that our lifestyles are not significantly altered. We can probably continue to 'consume' in the rapid way our economies are designed to but we might have to consume different things, in different ways, to save the planet.
I have faith that if we put all our efforts into using greener energy it will get done, but if we take the easy out and go for nuclear then these other approaches may never get the chance.
We are being told that it will be good for Australia - that economically we need to sell uranium. I've purchased plenty of shonky items in my time, but most of them have a limited ability to destroy the world as we know it. It is unethical to mine uranium at all. Unethical to store its waste in anyone's backyard. Unethical to sell it to anyone - whatever use they want it for, it still has the potential to kill massive amounts of people and pollute for hundreds of thousands of years. I can't believe that people will countenance this for any reason, least of all economics.
I have faith that if we put all our efforts into using greener energy it will get done, but if we take the easy out and go for nuclear then these other approaches may never get the chance.
We are being told that it will be good for Australia - that economically we need to sell uranium. I've purchased plenty of shonky items in my time, but most of them have a limited ability to destroy the world as we know it. It is unethical to mine uranium at all. Unethical to store its waste in anyone's backyard. Unethical to sell it to anyone - whatever use they want it for, it still has the potential to kill massive amounts of people and pollute for hundreds of thousands of years. I can't believe that people will countenance this for any reason, least of all economics.
What was it John Lennon said about Life?
I can't remember what John Lennon said about Life.... The Internet is my memory; is my brain.
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
Whatever happened to my other plans? Yet I still think this bit isn't my life....
I seem to have grown to think I’m not a real person and I take care to stay away from real people in case I get found out. Real People are fascinating and scary (and sometimes dull) - efficient and certain. They are in their Life and they know it. They are sure about their career-path and do all the things society expects. I’m certainly not a real graphic designer or a real worker. Am I a real homeowner? I certainly suffer some of the same problems.
Being not real isn’t too far removed from real – it’s more about the way you feel. About the way you fit into a group or into society (or want to fit in). Or, pertinently, the way you don’t fit (or don't want to fit in).
I've removed myself from my old life where the people were interesting-bordering-on-insane, but I have replaced it with boredom. Hope there is a middle path and that it is 'real' and is my life.
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
Whatever happened to my other plans? Yet I still think this bit isn't my life....
I seem to have grown to think I’m not a real person and I take care to stay away from real people in case I get found out. Real People are fascinating and scary (and sometimes dull) - efficient and certain. They are in their Life and they know it. They are sure about their career-path and do all the things society expects. I’m certainly not a real graphic designer or a real worker. Am I a real homeowner? I certainly suffer some of the same problems.
Being not real isn’t too far removed from real – it’s more about the way you feel. About the way you fit into a group or into society (or want to fit in). Or, pertinently, the way you don’t fit (or don't want to fit in).
I've removed myself from my old life where the people were interesting-bordering-on-insane, but I have replaced it with boredom. Hope there is a middle path and that it is 'real' and is my life.
20 July 2006
so don't even want to talk about it
Telling your sister that her ex-husband used to do 'bad things' to you when you were a child is not the best thing to do. I don't recommend it and it will all end in tears and hate. So much for getting all the yucky stuff out in the family arena. And how complicated it does make the 'Father by committee' thing.
And it creates this space in your head where you are doing nothing but calling yourself names and the word 'stupid' is written on the wall in graffitti in this room. Make a great art installation I'm sure.
And it creates this space in your head where you are doing nothing but calling yourself names and the word 'stupid' is written on the wall in graffitti in this room. Make a great art installation I'm sure.
seriously now
I think there should be a 'Depressed Peoples Revolution'(DPR). It just makes sense to have a world where you are put to death for trying to make someone smile when they don't feel like it.
No time like the present for jumping off a bridge
Oh, but the Israelies have blown all your bridges up? Depressed people of the world rise up - they can't treat our suicidal sisters and brothers this way!
ok so I'm depressed and self-involved
Wake up and see the real world you say? Have you looked at that recently? That's why I'm depressed.
08 July 2006
Father by committee
Ok, it's incredibly difficult. You think you are on top of it, but it's not possible.
• There's the putting your parent into a nursing home and his off-again on-again illnesses and dementia. The decisions about his health and care and what to do if he gets worse.
• There's the hoard to be cleaned up, sorted and dispersed to everyone's satisfaction. We are only just beginning and there are already issues.... some to do with decisions that were made before my father became less than competent.
• There are the old grudges and current lack of trust and respect between siblings.
• There's the emotional upheaval of having to say goodbye to childhood - and the good and bad memories that stirs up.
• There's financial worry and responsibility - which is all on one person (not me thankfully).
• There's prioritising with two or more other people involved....
I guess we will all appear to be vultures no matter what we do. 'Things' are big in my family and my father impressed upon us the importance of his things to him and that he wanted to pass them on. So we are doing what he wanted and something has to be sorted out sooner rather than later, but it's still squabbling over an inheritance before he's even gone.
Did I mention 'to everyone's satisfaction'?
• There's the putting your parent into a nursing home and his off-again on-again illnesses and dementia. The decisions about his health and care and what to do if he gets worse.
• There's the hoard to be cleaned up, sorted and dispersed to everyone's satisfaction. We are only just beginning and there are already issues.... some to do with decisions that were made before my father became less than competent.
• There are the old grudges and current lack of trust and respect between siblings.
• There's the emotional upheaval of having to say goodbye to childhood - and the good and bad memories that stirs up.
• There's financial worry and responsibility - which is all on one person (not me thankfully).
• There's prioritising with two or more other people involved....
I guess we will all appear to be vultures no matter what we do. 'Things' are big in my family and my father impressed upon us the importance of his things to him and that he wanted to pass them on. So we are doing what he wanted and something has to be sorted out sooner rather than later, but it's still squabbling over an inheritance before he's even gone.
Did I mention 'to everyone's satisfaction'?
25 May 2006
I'm trying to be real, really I am....
Every time I try to be a growned-up, Real Graphic Designer I seem to end in the same morass.
Perhaps it is fate telling me it's better to be poor and do some art? I am not cut out for the Real World. It never seems to mesh with me.
It's usually this time of year that I take on extra graphic design work, other than my three-day a week job. It doesn't come in on time, so I accept more design work from another source. I never want to do it, but think I need the money, and I somehow feel obliged (by my inner adult?). Waiting. Something I abhorr. The design jobs never come in on time so I feel chained to the computer; I feel like I am working, yet am doing nothing to earn money.
Then everything comes in at once and all things social begin to happen (with the drinking and staying up later than normal), and family commitments occur (with the stressed-out feeling that only your family can give you and they don't even have to try)....
Also, it is this time of year when sitting at the computer means your hands and feet are freezing. It's inevitable that the stress and cold combined lead to some sort of illness.
By the end I blame it all on the work and say 'never again', but by May next year I will have forgotten and do it all again. Just shoot me now.
Perhaps it is fate telling me it's better to be poor and do some art? I am not cut out for the Real World. It never seems to mesh with me.
It's usually this time of year that I take on extra graphic design work, other than my three-day a week job. It doesn't come in on time, so I accept more design work from another source. I never want to do it, but think I need the money, and I somehow feel obliged (by my inner adult?). Waiting. Something I abhorr. The design jobs never come in on time so I feel chained to the computer; I feel like I am working, yet am doing nothing to earn money.
Then everything comes in at once and all things social begin to happen (with the drinking and staying up later than normal), and family commitments occur (with the stressed-out feeling that only your family can give you and they don't even have to try)....
Also, it is this time of year when sitting at the computer means your hands and feet are freezing. It's inevitable that the stress and cold combined lead to some sort of illness.
By the end I blame it all on the work and say 'never again', but by May next year I will have forgotten and do it all again. Just shoot me now.
14 April 2006
Flew down to Spain
From an account by my father.
Flew down to Spain. Six Junkas. Found them one day. Fighter bombers, too fast for us. Lost seven planes a year at that time. We got away – it was good for moral. Gave the Squadron a lift. First three to four weeks he was there (Germans/Junkas) they lost three aircraft.
Intel. told only two Junkas returned. One was badly damaged.
So were we - lucky though. Hit throttle cable, not engine. Big holes two foot across. 20mm shell through side – hit flare tube. Used the flares to mark ships in disaster or bombing site for subs.
The Sunderland was a big aircraft - 30 ton 100 foot long. Four engines, eleven crew, three pilots, one navigator, two wireless. There were two engineers - sat engineers bench or gunnery if needed. Three airgunners.
Wasn’t in the tail when attacked – went to nose turret. Frank Calligan was in tail. Wireless op was in mid upper. Guns at galley hatches. I didn’t do anything that day. They didn’t come near my gun. I had an excellent record and could’ve accounted for myself.
They didn’t hit any vital parts – pilots or controls. Three engines went full bore – controls cut by fire – put fourth up to get pitch. Flew hour west. Fought for twenty minutes. Got in cloud, came out – they were there several times. Back into the cloud until all clear.
Three hours to fly home. Three boys patching holes under waterline. Missed two holes – under floor. On the way home I manned the mid-upper turret – watching all the way. Sharpens your eyes an attack like that. Saw black dot twenty-five miles away dead ahead. Went into cloud again. Ten to fifteen miles from home put into water and were towed into harbour while those not wounded bailed.
There were three wounded including the Skipper, in the foot. Water was gushing in under floor. I put my fist into the hole and yelled for the others to bail. They were using the teapot and saucepans out through the little porthole. Someone used a saucepan to hit the window. It was perspex so it bounced off. Tried again and window, pan and all went out. Freezing – pushed overalls into the hole and a bit of wood eventually to hold them and get hands out. Lot of water. Twenty ground staff came aboard to help bail. Made it to the buoy. Tried put trolley under back – too low. Navy came with suction hose. Camels – floating canvas six foot long with air were tied around craft for towing to dock.
I was left with the mooring. Took three months to repair the boat. Shortly after, it was the one (destroyed when) washed up against the rocks near the billets in the gale.
Flew down to Spain. Six Junkas. Found them one day. Fighter bombers, too fast for us. Lost seven planes a year at that time. We got away – it was good for moral. Gave the Squadron a lift. First three to four weeks he was there (Germans/Junkas) they lost three aircraft.
Intel. told only two Junkas returned. One was badly damaged.
So were we - lucky though. Hit throttle cable, not engine. Big holes two foot across. 20mm shell through side – hit flare tube. Used the flares to mark ships in disaster or bombing site for subs.
The Sunderland was a big aircraft - 30 ton 100 foot long. Four engines, eleven crew, three pilots, one navigator, two wireless. There were two engineers - sat engineers bench or gunnery if needed. Three airgunners.
Wasn’t in the tail when attacked – went to nose turret. Frank Calligan was in tail. Wireless op was in mid upper. Guns at galley hatches. I didn’t do anything that day. They didn’t come near my gun. I had an excellent record and could’ve accounted for myself.
They didn’t hit any vital parts – pilots or controls. Three engines went full bore – controls cut by fire – put fourth up to get pitch. Flew hour west. Fought for twenty minutes. Got in cloud, came out – they were there several times. Back into the cloud until all clear.
Three hours to fly home. Three boys patching holes under waterline. Missed two holes – under floor. On the way home I manned the mid-upper turret – watching all the way. Sharpens your eyes an attack like that. Saw black dot twenty-five miles away dead ahead. Went into cloud again. Ten to fifteen miles from home put into water and were towed into harbour while those not wounded bailed.
There were three wounded including the Skipper, in the foot. Water was gushing in under floor. I put my fist into the hole and yelled for the others to bail. They were using the teapot and saucepans out through the little porthole. Someone used a saucepan to hit the window. It was perspex so it bounced off. Tried again and window, pan and all went out. Freezing – pushed overalls into the hole and a bit of wood eventually to hold them and get hands out. Lot of water. Twenty ground staff came aboard to help bail. Made it to the buoy. Tried put trolley under back – too low. Navy came with suction hose. Camels – floating canvas six foot long with air were tied around craft for towing to dock.
I was left with the mooring. Took three months to repair the boat. Shortly after, it was the one (destroyed when) washed up against the rocks near the billets in the gale.
13 March 2006
Posting into the ether
Years ago my friends and I had a group diary/writing experiment. It was blogging in the 80's. The first entry was lost as the books travelled through time, but was about a frog. Things got better, and worse, from there.
Dear Diary/ Depressed Press entry no.?
What play is this? Cloe the frog hopped her hop a long while ago - now we are old. It doesn't matter what you imagine life will be, all that does matter is that Life is. That is how you know that you are Old. And Wise? Perhaps. Wait until older still to decide....
Dear Diary/ Depressed Press entry no.?
What play is this? Cloe the frog hopped her hop a long while ago - now we are old. It doesn't matter what you imagine life will be, all that does matter is that Life is. That is how you know that you are Old. And Wise? Perhaps. Wait until older still to decide....
It's sure to help
Ok, I had a Monday. And the fact that I've had rather a lot of very nice wine that I am completely not used to... well, I'm sure it helps. But when the last bottle of wine on the shelf is the eleven year old french bit of dry red then.... Bad thing is, I may have to find more expensive French red wine, dammit. And a need to buy local propels me to think I may have to try some Australian wine this old and see if the French do really have something. Which I fear they might.... Either way, I really can't afford it. Wish I could drink the rest and damn the consequences - sometimes you need to do that. Generally it's a very good wine doesn't shatter you. Yes I know it is poison, but such nice poison and anyway - it is only tomorrow that I will know that.
02 March 2006
Mmmm, morning coffee. So good you just want another cup. But.
If anything puts me off escalating my daily ration to three cups it’s reading New Scientist. Apparently my two cups of coffee cost the world 280 litres of water to make. Glad I don’t take milk and sugar.
Just to rub that in: 1 kilo of coffee = 20 000 litres of water.
Next on the list is junk food followed by clothes.
We need to get real. Eat less; consume less. Businesses need to be based on reuse before recycling. Forget capitalism and keeping the economy going. We can survive economic collapse if we look out for one another. We can’t survive global warming, falling water tables and continued consumption at this rate.
The article I read was by Fred Pearce
His book:
When the Rivers Run Dry: Water-The Defining Crisis of the Twenty-first Century
Just to rub that in: 1 kilo of coffee = 20 000 litres of water.
Next on the list is junk food followed by clothes.
We need to get real. Eat less; consume less. Businesses need to be based on reuse before recycling. Forget capitalism and keeping the economy going. We can survive economic collapse if we look out for one another. We can’t survive global warming, falling water tables and continued consumption at this rate.
The article I read was by Fred Pearce
His book:
When the Rivers Run Dry: Water-The Defining Crisis of the Twenty-first Century
17 February 2006
I'm waffling here about lack of empathy in people
Don’t disdain what other people do in art. Striving for excellence is a great thing, but it’s not a battle that should be fought without some thought and empathy. If your perspective is valid surely the other side can be brought around to agree with a bit of subtlety and logic.
Plus, if you look at history, it’s probably not a good idea to go around offending people. It’s easy enough to create opposition by stating your case too forcefully, and artists - while often dysfunctional - are very effective people and exceptionally committed to whatever they do. Imagine a world where Hitler had received less criticism and more support from his peers, perhaps becoming a successful artist or at least feeling better about other people. Then again, he might have been going to be offended no matter what. However, given the behaviour the ‘art world’ is known for, it would be worth a shot to go back in time and try a little empathy. He might have turned out only slightly disgruntled.
It’s interesting that we get this bit of Hitler’s history to think about. I have a tendency to think that art is a release for many problems and that if he had ended up an artist his manifestos would have been about colour theory (... hmm, but what to do about Pol Pot).
Art is very like religion in the way its proponents often only allow themselves one way of seeing things. There is no one way to do anything – assuming there is will only make other people feel resentment. Empathy and not taking yourself too seriously is the way, People.
Plus, if you look at history, it’s probably not a good idea to go around offending people. It’s easy enough to create opposition by stating your case too forcefully, and artists - while often dysfunctional - are very effective people and exceptionally committed to whatever they do. Imagine a world where Hitler had received less criticism and more support from his peers, perhaps becoming a successful artist or at least feeling better about other people. Then again, he might have been going to be offended no matter what. However, given the behaviour the ‘art world’ is known for, it would be worth a shot to go back in time and try a little empathy. He might have turned out only slightly disgruntled.
It’s interesting that we get this bit of Hitler’s history to think about. I have a tendency to think that art is a release for many problems and that if he had ended up an artist his manifestos would have been about colour theory (... hmm, but what to do about Pol Pot).
Art is very like religion in the way its proponents often only allow themselves one way of seeing things. There is no one way to do anything – assuming there is will only make other people feel resentment. Empathy and not taking yourself too seriously is the way, People.
20 January 2006
More flexible fixtures = no more lost spoons
Generally I dislike change. I like things to be easy and known – I like to drift through time on automatic and not have to work hard just to get through the day.
That being said, in the house, I don’t like fixtures much. I don’t like built-in wardrobes much, although they are functional. I prefer things I can rearrange. Sinks and gas plumbing generally annoy me. I’d like to move the stove and the sink, clean behind them and put them somewhere else for a change…. Why would you want them tied down? Can’t they make them at least on flexible metal pipes so you can pull them away from walls and clean? Not that I would get around to it too often, but I would like to be able to. And what about all those wooden spoons we found behind the old stove – that would never happen in a world designed by moi.
That being said, in the house, I don’t like fixtures much. I don’t like built-in wardrobes much, although they are functional. I prefer things I can rearrange. Sinks and gas plumbing generally annoy me. I’d like to move the stove and the sink, clean behind them and put them somewhere else for a change…. Why would you want them tied down? Can’t they make them at least on flexible metal pipes so you can pull them away from walls and clean? Not that I would get around to it too often, but I would like to be able to. And what about all those wooden spoons we found behind the old stove – that would never happen in a world designed by moi.
12 January 2006
What image recognition software will do for shoe shopping
They say we will be able to photograph restaurants with our phones and then pull up reviews without typing any words…. Lovely, but my immediate thought was – That would be great for shoes.
I often find my optical receptors zooming in on other women’s shoes (with something like the six-million dollar man running sound effect) and find myself wishing they would automatically take an anonymous photo so that I can put those exact shoes on my wishlist. Of course you never can find those shoes anywhere and my mind also dismisses them as optionally: ‘from Melbourne’; ‘from London’; ‘from Italy’…..
If said shoes were available on the web and an image recog software could automatically locate and price them in local currency…. Hmmm.
And while we are dreaming, my phone would also have, (through a nifty electronic pad of some kind that is either at home or in a shop/podiatrist’s somewhere), all the specs for my feet to upload to shoe manufacturers and retailers. I want my shoes to arrive fitted and with a bit of padding in the right place on the right shoe for that bone that sticks out….
I often find my optical receptors zooming in on other women’s shoes (with something like the six-million dollar man running sound effect) and find myself wishing they would automatically take an anonymous photo so that I can put those exact shoes on my wishlist. Of course you never can find those shoes anywhere and my mind also dismisses them as optionally: ‘from Melbourne’; ‘from London’; ‘from Italy’…..
If said shoes were available on the web and an image recog software could automatically locate and price them in local currency…. Hmmm.
And while we are dreaming, my phone would also have, (through a nifty electronic pad of some kind that is either at home or in a shop/podiatrist’s somewhere), all the specs for my feet to upload to shoe manufacturers and retailers. I want my shoes to arrive fitted and with a bit of padding in the right place on the right shoe for that bone that sticks out….
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